'In one fierce exhale, your child crossed from within to without. You have both landed in a radically new place’ - Heng Ou.
We spend so much time (rightly so!) taking good care of ourselves during our pregnancy and preparing for our birth. This is essential, as like Michel Odent once said 'To change the world, we must first change the way babies are being born’ …. But then... Let’s take the time towards the end of our pregnancy to learn about life with a newborn, what we can expect and how we can help ourselves and ask for help!
Physically, the fourth trimester is time of change for new moms, a re-birth if you will: your hormones will be fluctuating, your organs will be slowing navigating their way back to their pre-pregnant positions and your breast milk will come in, hello tears. Emotionally, the first few months postpartum are full of big moments as you get to know and understand your baby. As you settle into your new life as a family unit, going from two to three or three to four etc, it takes some gentle readjusting.
Take your sweet time, stay cosy, warm, fed, quenched, cocooned.. Much like a baby yourself.
Prepare for…
Breastfeeding, it can be really challenging and for many is a much harder experience than labour and birth. Some mothers and babies find there way immediately, from the first latch and for others it takes time. For various reasons, milk supply, babies latch and positioning, tongue tie. Gentle reminder, that this is new for both mum and baby, you are both essentially learning a new skill. Watch videos on positioning, eat foods that promote breast milk, drink plenty of water, take supplements to support your system (I love https://www.wildnutrition.com/). Don’t be afraid to ask for help, reach out to a Lactation Consultant or a local Lactation support group in your area. There are some wonderful women out there providing such great information. Trust your instincts, it should not be painful! @imogenibclc @lactationlink - visit www.laleche.org.uk/ to name a few. Pls go ahead and tag any useful accounts below
Pelvic Floor check and support… YES mums. Pregnancy and childbirth puts a lot of pressure on these tendons and muscles - ya might of noticed this already! You wouldn’t think twice about seeking support for lets say an injury or sprain of a muscle in your leg.. Discomfort going to toilet, during sex, running around after your little one. I encourage all my pregnancy students to have a pelvic floor check post birth (vagina or c-section!). I saw the wonderful @maternity_physio but you can head over to https://www.themummymot.com/ to find someone in your area.
Bleeding after giving birth understandably is totally normal and can go on for four to six weeks afterward, keep an eye on any red-flag signs though, such as a fever, large clots, pain or other symptoms of infections. Taking it slow and avoid rushing around will help aid the healing process. You may notice when you push yourself to do too much too soon your body will let you know, it’s pretty wise, your bleeding may increase, your breastfeeding feels compromised or you just feel run down. This is your body’s way of saying sloooow down.
Rest, sleep, rest, sleep, sleep sleep….. When babies needs are met, bonding, feeding, changing. GO TO SLEEP. Sleep allows your body to heal and will help in balancing your hormones. You have used up a hell of a lot of energy and now you need even more to support this deep phase of healing your body… which leads me to the next point.
Stock up your freezer towards the end of your pregnancy, get your partner or anyone who is able to make you some food and keep it coming. Nourish yourself so you can nourish your baby.
The wise old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a baby’ exists for a reason, and in most cultures around the world they really adopt this philosophy, sadly we seem to have fallen behind here in the Western world. Or perhaps we’ve fast forwarded this process to be more accurate. If family or friends offer to help, take it, postpartum doulas can also be a wonderful resource if your fortunate enough to be able to have one, in supporting you, making sure you stay fed, well hydrated helping with baby care.
Another gentle reminder when you’re scrolling through instagram looking at mum’s who ‘have their sh*t together’, one they probably don’t and two, who cares. Motherhood is not a competition. Do things your way, At your pace. It took you 9-10 months to grow this delicious baby, allow the same amount of time for your body to come back into its previous state, there is no rush. Priority is feeling good, happy, loved and supported. You will feel stronger, you will feel more active, you have time.
Enjoy the cuddles, endure the sleepless nights, it will get easier, you will find your rhythm. You are doing your best. You are enough.
